Monday, September 19, 2016

My Bridget Moment

See also: Top 20 Movies for me.

I was supposed to go see a movie with my friend Kevin but it looks like I was blown off. Well I had been eager to go do something all day and I wasn't going to let the fact that I was alone stop me from having a good time.

As I have mentioned before, I am a fan of the movie, Bridget Jones's Diary. I identify with her in many ways. Largely the fact that I am over thirty and still single. So I thought that it was appropriate that I change the movie choice to the latest installment of the series, Bridget Jones's Baby.  Little did I realize that I was be identifying with her just a little too much this evening.

So I go to the theater thinking that if I get there late, I can slip into the crowd unnoticed. Nothing like a bunch of couples looking at a singleton with pity. I get up to the ticket counter and the guy there asks me which seat I would like. All the greens were available to choose. --They were all green.

Fuck.

Well, I am here already.

I go into the empty theater and pick my seat. It seemed like ages but finally I hear the door to the room open and I hear a couple of voices. I breathed a little sigh of relief. I wasn't going to be alone.

Then nothing. A few more minutes to go before the movie starts and no more people have come in. As slyly as I could, I looked back and made out one couple in the back row. In the entire theater, it was me and a couple.

I sink lower into my seat.

So the movie starts and gets on. --Great by the way. Go see it.--- Finally, the credits come up. I hope that the couple gets up to go and so I wait a few moments. I don't hear the doors open. They were going to sit through the credits. I knew that I was going to have to walk past them in order to get out. Well I've already suffered enough what's a little more right? I walk past them, give them a little nod, and zoom, I'm outta there.

I start walking for the exit and put my hand in my pocket to bring out my keys. They're not there. I freeze. Crap! They must've fallen out of my pocket while I was watching the movie. I had two choices, I could either go back and pass the couple again or pretend to go to the bathroom and go back when they left. Yes! Let's do option B. I head for the bathroom when a worker comes out with a bag of trash. Another starts sweeping the hallway.

That's it. Plan B is shit. I had to go back.

I go back in, pass the couple, get to my seat and feel around. No keys. I grimace at the thought, but I put my hands deeper into the crevices. Nothing. Could they have fallen through to the ground? More horror as I reach down there and feel around, bumping into popcorn and who knows what else. Still no keys. I bring out my phone and use it as a flash light. Still no keys.

By now I am in a near panic. If I don't have keys, I am going to have to call someone to pick me up, bring me to my parents where they have a spare, and then bring me back. And I'm sure that the couple--who still have not left--are watching this with amusement.

On my left, I catch a glint of metal and with some relief, I found my keys. I pop my head up and the couple is looking right at me. I walk past them again, give them a little nod again, and zoom, I'm outta there. Not before that same worker from the bathroom says, "have a good night."

I awkwardly smile and nod to the guy and continued to walk on forward--because that's what Bridget would do.

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