Whatever happened to the Queer Golden Rule?
Wow, Tyler Whitney is popping up all over the gay blogging circuit but the rest of America doesn’t care. Mr. Whitney is an 18 year old staffer for a Republican candidate for President. He was outed. This has caused a little firestorm amongst the gay bloggies with many calling this guy a bigot, an a-hole, and even worse. The way some people have responded to this, Mr. Whitney is fit to be tied to the stake and burned for not being a good little gay.I do not deny that Mr. Whitney has done some pretty offensive stuff. Carrying anti-gay placards that aren’t even fit to be called “homophobic” certainly strikes points against him. However, as I read more about him the more I genuinely feel the need to reach out and hug him. Because I know that he has got to be feeling pretty alone. He’s getting grief from two communities who are openly hostile to which he belongs -conservatives and gays.
I have to ask though, is he really deserving of such scorn? Look, his “crime” is working for an anti-gay Republican politician. Again, I say Republican since anti-gay Democrats and their staff are not targeted. Anyways, you can make a fair argument to say that politicians and actors have given up their rights to privacy. Thus any action they take that is contrary to their own behaviors is fair game. I don’t agree with that but I concede that it’s a fair point. What I don’t agree with is that same view can be extended to their employees. While Mr. Whitney has worked to undermine they gay community, I haven’t seen any evidence that he still supports anti-gay views since he has come out. (Supposedly, those anti-gay demonstrations took place before he came out.) In view of his working for Rep. Tancredo, I can cut him some slack for having to work on projects that are not in line with his own views. But c'mon, Tancredo? He even gives the Bush family the creeps. I have had to explain a representative’s position on Proposal 2 (Michigan’s Same Sex Marriage Amendment) to gays and their family members. It sucks but you do your job.
There are grounds to be angry at this kid. I’m not happy with what he has done (or yet, continues to do—I don’t know) but I have to be the person that I want others to be. When I started the coming out process, it scared me to death that not only wouldn’t I be accepted by conservative friends and family but I would be rejected by fellow gays for simply being me which is a gay conservative. Reading some of what has been said about him, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if he never wants to approach us. We eat our own and that’s sad. So I am going to hold out hope for him and give him the space and respect to make his own choices. I know that a person can reconcile two positions that seem so opposed to each other and whatever things I may hear about him in the future, I hope it’s good.
h/t The Malcontent, North Dallas Thirty, Queer Conservative, who were talking about this (read the comments, I dare ya).
*I got this poster from a Young Americans for Freedom (YAF) meeting which were giving away free material from the Young America’s Foundation which is a related organization. It’s the same YAF chapter that recently got listed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. I went to the one meeting and never went back because the members (even at that time) were pretty vile with their rhetoric. And if Kyle Bristow is anything like he is portrayed, it sounds like the chapter has become even worse. Really, I could definitely tell the difference between them and the College Republicans.
Comments
Where is your proof of this? I am so sick of the liberal gate-keepers of the gay community making up some kind of threshold of acceptance. I am another gay man who like Tyler support Tom Tancredo. So what? Our preference in bed is not the end all and be all of who we are.
I would venture to guess that you Democrats also don't necessarily agree with 100% of what your candidates say. I love listening to Michael Savage and agree with him on most issues, especially amnesty. But I don't follow him mindlessly.
They other myth is that to be gay you have to support every kind of special rights legislation that comes down the pike. That is a rediculous fascist threat too. I, along with many others, oppose gay marriage, gay adoption, and open homosexuality in the military. The media ignores that there are many gays just like Tyler who embrace conservative values.
I warn the gay pc police that all you are doing is strenghthening out conservative views and confirming that so many homosexuals are bankrupt of decent values. If an obsession with sex and promoting your lifestyle always comes first, then you are missing out on the most rewarding elements of life itself. Grow up gay community.
Proof? The picture holding a sign orders gays back into the closet is enough. It says nothing to advance an ideology only fosters self-hatred by saying that you have to be ashamed of who you are. That one simple act does undermine a proud gay community.
"Our preference in bed is not the end all and be all of who we are." Yes, and if you would actually take time to consider what I am saying in my post you'd find out that I am in agreement. Because you are gay does not mean you automatically belong to liberals, conservatives, Democrats, or Republicans.
"...you Democrats" If I wasn't so incredibly angry right now I'd be laughing. You Democrats... pschaw. I think I'm going to have to demand my designation in the constituent database be changed from "R" to "D" since whatever dckyle says must be true.
"[The] other myth is that to be gay you have to support every kind of special rights legislation that comes down the pike." And as a gay Republican, should I accept every piece of homophobic legislation that gets supported in my party. I don't think so. While I may find frustration in the gay community which largely in support of the Democrats, I have full confidence that they can find issues within their own party and yet still support it.
"I, along with many others, oppose gay marriage, gay adoption, and open homosexuality." I will assume that you are a gay men since earlier you wrote, "our preference." But you are entitled to your views and I would highly be interested in why you have those views when they limit your own pursuit of happiness.
"The media ignores that there are many gays just like Tyler who embrace conservative values." You are more than welcome to fill the void. Got a blog? And yes, the media is ignoring Mr. Whitney and I find it fascinating that all this hooey is taking place under straight people's noses.
"If an obsession with sex and promoting your lifestyle always comes first, then you are missing out on the most rewarding elements of life itself." Don't talk about obsession with sex to a person who abstains from it. And I think that people like you are preventing people like me from seeking out those rewarding elements. Whether that be serving this country or starting a family.
Tyler Whitney: "SMASH LEFT WING SCUM"
I can accept that there a gay conservatives that don't believe in gay marriage such as dckyle. Some, like North Dallas Thirty will be more than happy to tell you why. And that's fine with me.
I'm willing to give this guy the benefit of the doubt.
Let this be a lesson to us all. Always be true to yourself and never try to be what someone else wants you to be.
BINGO! You just indicted Tyler Whitney. The jury has spoken.
Hey, thanks for dropping by my little corner of blogland! :-)
So... do you remember Spartakus?
@dckyle: Let me first say that I am pleasantly surprised to see you back. I had you pegged as one of those drive by trolls.
If you are supporting DADT, the various gay-marriage amendments, and the sort, are you saying that you are helping the gay community? If you think that it is an "indictment" of Tyler Whitney, then so be it. But I will let his present and future actions decide what man he can be. And I will hope.
"But the most important person that he has lied to was himself."
He didn't announce his sexual preference to everyone? How is that a lie? Seriously. If he is gay, then by age 12 or 13 he was most likely masturbating to imagery of nude men. How is that dishonest or "lieing" as you say?
The reason I said you indicted Tyler Whitney is because you said: "people like you are preventing people like me from seeking out those rewarding elements. Whether that be serving this country or starting a family." So if Tyler Whitney supports the santity of marriage, supports DADT, and opposes gay adoption and hate crimes legislation - how it that preventing you from doing anything? It's a free country.
The representative I worked for never drafted a bill, held one in his hand, or voted on a piece of legislation while I worked there that had anything remotely to do with gays or an “anti-gay” agenda. This amendment was not the work of the legislature; it was a referendum that even the Governor could not veto.
The question of if he supported it is not debatable. Going into the election, he explained to his staff what proposals (because there are more than one) on the ballot he was voting on and what his votes would be. He said that he would be voting “yes” on Proposal 2. First, he is a socially conservative. Second, so is the vast majority of the electorate in his district. He voted on Proposal 2 with the same authority as I did—as a single Michigan citizen. He voted “yes.” I voted “no.” Proposal 2 passed almost 2-1.
Since you are interested in what I said to constituents as they called in, this what I said (in a bit more words than written here):
If they asked what the rep. was going to vote. “He’s going to vote ‘yes’.”
If they inquired about Proposal 2: “It will only allow marriage to be between a man a woman. It will only recognize civil unions or anything else similar to marriage to be only valid between a man and a woman.”
If they were worried about Proposal 2: “There is a chance that it may go to court being challenged as being unconstitutionally vague.”
If they were worried about themselves or their families: “First, if you have partnership benefits that are granted by private companies, then they will not be affected by this amendment. Only benefits issued from the state or places such as public universities will be cut. However, I would encourage you to get in contact with a family lawyer who will better be able to solidify whatever legal mechanisms still afforded.” (That’s one of main reasons why I’m going to law school and focusing on family law.)
It’s true that most of the gay men that I’ve met have been very liberal. But I’ve never had one spew such vitriol as you or the tattler that provided you a link to this site. Perhaps they see something more? In any event, I’m entirely content with their company and really don’t take your attacks on my character to heart. I know what I am and any kind of hatred from the left or the right of me isn’t going to change that. Now, if you want to open a dialogue much like the person I am going to respond to next, that’s fine with me.
@DCKyle: As far as I’ve read about him, Mr. Whitney had started to come out to a few friends. One of which then outed him out on some publication which was then picked up by the blogosphere. Whether he had gotten to his parents by the time this all blew up, I don’t know. But the certainly do now I’d imagine, since their personal contact information was distributed for harassment.
As for the lie, speaking on personal experience, you can masturbate to men and still believe you are straight. Funny, I know, but true. You can use all sorts of justifications, “Oh, I just admire the male form.” “I wish I could look like him.” “If I think about a woman involved, then I must like them too.” I went back and for the between “I’m straight.” “I like guys a little.” “Maybe I’m bi.” “I’m bi but prefer guys slightly more than women.” As long as you hold on to that sliver of hope that you can get away with a heterosexual relationship, you can deceive yourself extremely well.
There are gay men who do oppose gay marriage, supports DADT, and the others. They use valid beliefs to arrive a different conclusion. Let’s take gay marriage for instance, I know one guy who believes that gay marriage is a religious institution that is meant for procreation. The rights that go along with that such a child-tax credit, or tax-breaks, are meant to encourage procreation. There are others who believe that gay marriage would only be legitimate if and only if it is properly legislated on. That is, if a freely elected legislature passed a law, or more preferably, if the majority of the population approves.
Having those views in itself doesn’t prevent me from doing anything. However, by voting on such issues and having them stand, does. A ban on gay marriage prevents me from forming a partnership and having the benefits of marriage denied to me such as visitation right, inheritance, medical decisions, and hundreds of others. My own father used the argument that marriage is not being denied to gays—they are free to get married to a member of the opposite sex. A hollow argument since the belief that you should marry the only you love goes out the window and it brings in dishonesty and a whole host of other problems into a relationship.
“You are the gay equivalent of an uncle Tom.” *Yawn*
No doubt that gay rights are not a trivial issues. But I also do not let it hinder me from associating with people who agree with me on other issues. It cuts both ways I don’t let my conservative views keep me from having healthy relationships with confessed liberals.
Also, in regards to the constituent inquiries you are challenging me on. I indicated in my blog that the responses are just the gist of what is said. Constituent calls last much longer. What is in question is covered under, “Yes.” The natural lead in to a conversation is why well that basically comes down to two things, his own views and his wanting to be inline with his constituency. If you think that is not explaining his position, then I’m sorry but you are asking for a mind reader and although I know we conservatives have evil powers but that’s not one of them.
Label me all you want Timmy T.
I was making no such comparison. You missed the point, which is, people hate you just for being gay. And, you have indeed have had greater vitriol spewed at you than I have given.
"you pretty much give up on 2/3 of the population."
I don't give up on them, you do. I have hope hearts and minds can change. I have seen it happen. It does not happen by tolerating homophobia and throwing up your hands in resignation. Did you ever talk to the rep. you worked for to enlighten him on gay matters? Lot's has changed over the past three decades in favor of gay people. I trust this trend will continue. But, good things did not happen, nor will they continue to happen if we are apathetic and complacent. Whether you realize and admit it or not, gay activists' and our heterosexual allies' hard work is what made change possible and continue to happen.
"It’s kinda funny since DCKyle has been getting on me from the right and he’s downright congenial in comparison to you."
Why wouldn't DCKyle be more congenial towards you than I? DCKyle has made it clear that he absolutely does not care who bashes him for being gay, he will still support conservative homophobes. You are two peas in a pod. Neither of you sees your sexual orientation as being very important, even though people want you disenfranchised from society for it.
"I also do not let it hinder me from associating with people who agree with me on other issues." We are not talking about just any willy nilly issues. We are talking about who you were born as.
Perhaps it bares repeating. You're like a black person working for and promoting a grand wizard of the KKK, because aside from the race thingy, you have so much else in common.
I follow the golden rule, queer or other. I support pro-gay causes and candidates who support them. I am against homophobes be they heterosexual or gay. This is the way I would like to be treated by others.
Unfortunately, you cannot honestly say the same.
“I support pro-gay causes and candidates who support them.” Then you must’ve had a skimpy ballot last presidential election.
As for the Queer Golden Rule, we’re just going to get into a battle of semantics on how that should be carried out. I’ve done that before. It’s exhaustive and I have neither the time nor inclination. After all this, “insane” blog was never meant for such discussion.
How about this?
Or this?
Or, my personal favorite, given that HRC, NGLTF, and leftist gay Democrats of every stripe, including John Aravosis and Mike Signorile, aided and supported him, this, including several staffers.
Now, Timmy T, I want you to say, loudly and clearly, that Hilary Rosen (one of HRC's leaders), Andrew Tobias (the DNC treasurer), Tim Downing (an HRC national board member), John Aravosis, Mike Signorile, and ANY gays that voted for/endorsed/supported any of the candidates mentioned, including John Kerry, like Steve Elmendorf and Bob Farmer, are "Uncle Toms" and self-loathing homosexuals, since they supported homophobic politicians and positions.
Or you can try to twist yourself into knots and explain why Kerry's support of such laws as Proposition 2 and why Harold Ford's support of the FMA was a good thing, and why staffers who worked the gay community for money to support their campaigns and defended their stances on it were "pro-gay".
"You must’ve had a skimpy ballot last presidential election." Indeed. Too often one is left with a choice of voting for the lesser of two evils, because those are the only options. Some of those two evils are civil unions vs no civil unions (I would rather there be gay marriage), endorsing a Federal marriage ban on gay marriage vs leaving it up to the states (I would rather gay marriage be made law across the land overriding the bigoted states like had to be done to allow interracial marriage). Frankly, choosing the lesser of two evils also involves deciphering who is flat out lying about their position just so they can be politically viable. Let's face it, someone with a blatant pro gay marriage, pro equal rights for gays agenda will never be elected at this point in time.
"After all this, “insane” blog was never meant for such discussion."
Fair enough, David. This is your place. But it does strike me as odd that if you don't want such discussions here that you would bring up Tyler Whitney. That subject will only get "such discussion" as every post on this thread proves.
In any case, if I choose to respond to your half witted friend, North Dallas Thirty, who pretends to know my mind (who I endorse, what party I belong to, how I think, how I feel about what certain people have done), I'll do it on his blog.
Good luck with school. You have some noble ambitions for your career. It looks like you live in a cute town. I hope you get some rain, soon.
Peace
@Timmy T.: I must say, I have never gotten so much traffic to my site due to one issue. With maybe an exception of the Snyder case in Roseland. But it’s true, while I may post about political posts here, it is hardly concentrate on it because my blog is meant to be mostly for fun. Politics is not for the most part and arguing with people definitely is not especially when a discussion devolves into a rehash and that’s where we were heading.
I thank you for your well wishes.
LOL....isn't it amazing, Timmy, how you can call David an "Uncle Tom", "self-loathing", "vile", "pathetic", "incredibly ignorant", "in denial", and so forth without even breaking a sweat, but cannot do the same for Democrats, leftists, and HRC leaders who are doing exactly what you accuse him of doing?
You've never kept your mouth shut before when it comes to attacking others for "homophobic" actions. Why are you doing it now?