PTO for the Fair

I took the majority of this week off for the Berrien County Youth Fair. I saw a number of people that I knew from high school but only talked with a few of them.  My friend Kraig had his sons showing off their goat. My friend Season, her partner Sharon, and their daughter came as well and it was good to see them.

Relaxing in the Garden

Oddly enough, I didn't really each much at the fair. I had no interest in an elephant ear or a funnel cake. I have easy access to better and cheaper alternatives around here year-round. Gyros comes immediately to mind. I had sirloin tips, a corn dog, and those cinnamon nuts.

I never paid much attention to the midway but as Season's daughter wanted to ride, I made a discovery. Scannable wristband are now being used. Also, they have a fast past system. Gross. Thanks Disney.

Maybe Get Rid of Comment Sections?

I generally don’t like to read comments made on news articles. Maybe I’m a bit of a snob but I am surrounded by idiots and I don’t want to read their opinions on things.

Recently, a local man was reported missing. His body was then found. Things like this aren’t unheard of around here. What made this bit of news stick out for me were the reactions to it. Granted, most people commenting were expressing messages of sympathy but there were quite a few people who could not help but stir up the pot with their ignorance and bigotry.

Mostly, it was the assumption that this man was Muslim. It amazed me that people because this man was wearing a turban, he must be Muslim. Because he has dark skin and hair, he must be from the middle east. Therefore—terrorist. It made me so mad because all the information was there so show that this man was a Sikh from South Asia. Pointing that out to some of these commenters didn’t make a difference. It's bad enough that people equate Muslims with Terrorism. It's just another layer of fuckery when they equate other people with Muslims--which make them terrorists as well.

One comment that boiled by blood was something along the effect of, “I hope he rests in peace with his ‘God’.” As if his god is lesser. I would challenge anyone to go up to a Christian when he or she sneezes and say, “God bless you,” with air-quotes. See how they take it.

Saw It.

I had a very good laugh with my coworker when she showed me her cup that she got from McDonald's this morning. It is supposed to be two mittens but she added a couple squiggle lines, turning it into a NSFW cup of coffee. I didn't realize at the time but apparently the internet has been going crazy over this. Normally I pride myself on keeping up with the trending memes out there. It was good to experience one first hand though.

Freedom

There is a man sitting in the county jail right who has lost his freedom and I have ensured that he will not regain it for many years. As this country celebrates its freedom, my mind dwells on his loss and it has tainted my mood. 

I was ordered to report to the courthouse up in St. Joe for jury duty a couple weeks ago. The selection was for a murder trial. I had thought that the odds were small that I would make it on the jury but make it I did. Will not go into the specifics of the case but there are a few things that I would like to note.

After going through the trial, I found that the prosecutor had done her job and I was was convinced of most of the charges that were laid on him. I was in sync with most of the jurors for most of the charges except for two. While I was ready to pronounce the defendant guilty on those two charges, the rest of them were not. I could understand where they were coming from and there conclusion was valid given the evidence. What I realized is that I have a higher expectation of people and the actions they take and their responsibility to face the consequences of those actions.

There really are two sides to a story. After the trial was concluded, I came home and started looking up all the media I could find about the story. What I read coming from both camps saddened me. Having to weigh testimony and evidence highlighted the nuances of a series of unfortunate events. My perspective on what happened seems to be totally different than those in the two camps. I can’t even say that there are points that I can agree with any of them.

The man sitting in the jail tonight was guilty of the crime he committed but he wasn’t completely at fault. Misperception, escalation, and overzealousness is deadly combo but in the end, a bad decision ended, in different ways, two mens’ lives.

Disruption in the Cosmic (Company) Order

The New Horizons probe made its closest pass to Pluto. For us who have grown up with nine planets, this marks the completion of the solar system family portrait. It is an amazing experience. We have never seen a clear shot of Pluto and now for the first time, the whole world can. A new world seen for the first time.

I entertained the thought that there may be something to astrology. As this new world was being revealed, there was some major upheavals at work. Carmen, one of our most beloved coworkers didn't show up for work. It took us a bit to realize that she wasn't there because we are not always at our desks but once we did, we got worried because it was so unlike her to miss work and not call in. My supervisor called and there wasn't an answer but a little while later he got a call from her. She quit. Just like that. I didn't even notice last night when she left that she had put her badge in the drawer and took her big tube of M&Ms with her. It was stunning when we were told. Apparently she claimed that it was personal issues and that it was nothing to do with us. We can only speculate as to what she meant by that. Within a couple hours, news had spread to the other buildings on campus. Jim, our IT guy, even called asking why he got a termination ticket for Carmen--as if someone was playing a joke on him. It is going to be tough until we can get some replacement help. I plenty of people that the company could hire two people and they still wouldn't be able to do as much as she did. It is such a mystery why she left so suddenly.

Most of the day was talking about Carmen and the various reasons why she might have left but to finally end it, we had two temps get into a verbal showdown that escalated to one of them threatening to kill the other. Of course, that kind of threat isn't going to be tolerated so one of them was immediately let go. I'm not sure if the other one is going to be there tomorrow.

An important victory but not the end.

Yesterday, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that bans on same-sex marriages were unconstitutional. It was expected that the court would rule on this beginning sometime last week but most thought that it would come towards the end of this week or possibly on Monday. While I was at work, Roy sent me this message about 15 minutes after the decision was released. I found a bit of humor that I would be getting US news first from Great Britain. 

I am happy with the decision and I think it was a correct one but I am disappointed that it was a 5-4 decision. I had really hoped that Chief Justice Roberts would have joined in with a 6-3 decision. In the arguments, he brought up that this could be gender discrimination and teased the possibility that he could be another pro-gay vote. It has been said that Roberts wants to avoid 5-4 decisions and has angered the right when he sided with the liberals when it came to the Affordable Health Care cases. On the other hand, his positions in the cases on DOMA and Prop 8 suggested otherwise.

I’ve been busy at work but I do intend on reading the opinion.

Just because gays can now marry, it doesn’t mean the march for equality is over. It seems that the backlash is going to be in the form of religious freedom (to discriminate) laws. And it is still true that society is divided. Even my own family.

What's wrong with being Facebook buddies?

Today I just noticed that I got de-friended again. This is the second time in as many weeks. I try not to take it personally as the people who did aren't really friend-friends but it still stings a little you know?

I'm a little aloof when it comes to Facebook. I don't rarely post status updates or interact with any friends on there. I've tried to step up my game a bit but my heart really isn't it. More than anything it's more of an intelligence gathering tool for me! Yeah, I know that sounds creepy but I gladly take in whatever friends throw out there for public consumption.

I wonder if it is because I don't interact that much that people don't really care to be friends with me. Then again, it's not like people take the first step to interact with me. One of the biggest things that really gets under my skin is when I have to always have to initiate an interaction. Relationships shouldn't be one sided and I have let some friend fall to the side because I got sick of being the one to start. So I guess I was guilty of that in Facebook world and was let go.

It could have been my political views...

*shrugs*

Oh well. To Brett and Susan: all the best.

Atheist Ass

I had two interesting encounters with Christians at the fair last week. While walking by the various commercial booths, I came across one that had a display with three doors that you could open. The claim was that behind those doors you could see three things that God cannot do. I forget what all the third one said but the other two said that God can not change and that God can not lie. I laughed as I don't believe those statements.  The guy saw me laugh and asked, "do you believe you will go to heaven?"

I knew where he was going with that question and it pushed my button. I said, "no." I could tell that he was taken aback by what I said but after a he collected himself, he said, "would you like to know how."  I said, "No, but thanks," and walked away. I have a low tolerance for people who make judgement on who can go to heaven and believe they know what criteria is needed to be met to get there.  I wasn't about to have a conversation with a fundamentalist because I already know that I do not meet his requirements. I will not go to his heaven.

A while later I came across another Christian booth. They had a display that had Bible trivia on it with true or false choices. You would choose with a stylus that would activate a green or red light depending if the choice was correct. I went through the questions and got most of it right.  (Did you know that there was a female Noah?).  The guy was not pushy and the environment was more inviting.  He was pretty cool and he even gave me a book after I completed the trivia board.

Later on after I had left the fair, I was thinking on the interactions I had between the two men and why I had reactions that were quite different even though they represent the same faith and my thought was this: the first guy was telling me what I should know and the second was inviting me to know more.  It occurred to me that how I view Christians--is shaped by similar attitudes. Of course it's a lot easier to get along with someone that doesn't condemn you to hell than someone who does.

You're not even close.

I was at my desk this morning clicking my way through my job when one of my coworkers, who is black, was talking to other people nearby that she's wearing the Confederate Flag.  My ears perked up at that.  A black woman in the north saying something like that is not an every day occurrence.  So looked over because I had to see this.  I saw that she was wearing what you see pictured and I immediately busted up laughing.  After I was done, I lamented over our obviously failing education system.

I have told this woman that she is my "project."  Lesson 1: Understanding the Union Flag of the United Kingdom.  So rest assured, that she now understands that this is not one of the flags of the Confederate States of America nor is it flag of the Union forces that the CSA was fighting against.  She also understands that it is the incorporation of three flags into one.  I decided to leave it at that because her head was about to explode from the rush of new knowledge.  A little bit at a time, people.

Lesson 2:  High-heeled boots are not the best footwear choice for working in a warehouse.

I have the flag tattooed to my forehead.

I was a kid living in the Philippines. My white American father met my mother here in San Fernando during his first assignment.  This particular story occurs during his second assignment there.  Most of the time I was out in town, I either with my mother, grandmother, or aunt.  I have very few memories of my father being with me in town.

One day--it had to have been shortly before his assignment was up--he took me into town to get some errands done.  He parked the car and I grabbed a pin.  I want to say that the pin was of an American flag.  More likely, I think it was off one of my dad's uniforms.  The point is that whatever it depicted, it drew attention to the fact that I was an American.  He told me that it was not safe to wear and that I would have to leave it.

At the time I complied.  I had heard some hazy conversations about some threats.  Something do with a service member getting stabbed and attacked.  Whether that was actually true, I don't know--it was just something I had gone with at the time.  Yet the fact that I couldn't wear this pin because it would identify me as an American and make me a target was laughable.

I was well known in that town.  Even with an American military installation, American kids running around was plenty odd.  In fact, I don't ever recall seeing another American kid there.  Clark, sure.  Wallace, no.  Plus there was this really tall white guy right accompanying me.  I think that any bandit or communist rebel would have me pegged straight out.

I knew that I was different but it dawned on me then that being known as an American could be dangerous.  When we left, it was made even more clear as we had to take a helicopter to Clark which was locked down.  My dad had to get special permission to leave the base, get to Manila, and fly back to America.

Let me say though, that I feel very comfortable in San Fernando.  It doesn't take long for the locals to figure out I'm an American.  It doesn't bother me... there. There are other places though that give me pause about visiting and that kind of depresses me.

Moving On

It's been a rough week and I am so glad for it to be over.

Earlier this week, I got text messages from my friends Season and Sara within seconds of each other.  One of our classmates, Jon, had died.  The news was broken to our friendship group via the condolences left on his facebook page.  At the time, based on facebook posts, he hadn't been feeling well and went the hospital. They sent him home and he suffered with his illness for a few days even though they couldn't pin down what was wrong with him.  A roommate found him Monday in his bed.  Initial rumors was that it had something to do with his lungs.  Bronchitis and pneumonia were mentioned.  One of his relatives said yesterday that it was viral pneumonia.  

Any longtime reader will recognize Jon as someone who I have complained about in the past.  He creeped me out with his crush on me.  I wasn't very charitable when it came to his academic knowledge.  Death, tends to soften people's judgments.  There were things that I admired about Jon and that was his bravery and persistence.  He knew what he wanted and he took steps to make it happen.  The first time I saw him do drag, he was god awful but he kept with it. In the last show, he was still pretty bad but the improvement was very remarkable.  Like one facebook commenter said, his passion to perform were undoubted and respected.  He even pursued me with directness and bravado that I have no hope of emulating.  After throwing off the shackles of high school, he found himself and as far as I could see he was finally happy.  I wish more of us could say the same.

Sara and Jon

Jon was cremated.  No viewing was made available nor will a memorial service be given.  Our last meetings with him will have to be our comfort.  The picture here was the last at the last shows of his that I attended.  Next to him is our friend and classmate, Sara, with whom he had a special relationship.  I've stared at this dark, fuzzy, and crappy picture.  It's just one little moment in time we shared with him... and it was good.

*   *   *

Back: Me, C.W.; Front; K.P., C.G.

Yesterday, one of the company's supervisors was fired.  C.W. used to be my boss until I transferred out of her department.  Still I got to sit next to her in this foursome cubicle with K.P. and C.G.  It was a blast.  I eventually moved to another building.  K.P. and C.G. moved on to other, better, places.  

A few weeks ago C.W. had a complaint filed against her by one of her workers.  Something along the line of her being an unreasonable supervisor.  C.W. drove her workers hard but I never thought of her as being a bad person.  She just expected her workers to meet their productivity goals.  She was suspended and then fired a few days after she got back.

When I asked her why, she had told me that the reason that they gave her was that she wasn't leading people.  I suppose it takes them five years to realize this.  I suspect that it was office politics once again.

*   *   *

The band is breaking up!  For about two years, I've been working with pretty much the same crew.  I know them we work very well since we used to each others' work habits and eccentricities.  Major things are happening and requiring a shuffling of personnel.  A few of us will be leaving for another part of the campus and those that are staying are taking on additional duties.  It's fairly common here.  In the five years I've been here, I've worked in four departments, in three buildings, at eight desks.  It's actually been quite remarkable who stable it had been this past couple of years.  Now, I think we're making up for lost time.

I will be one of those people leaving although my departure has been delayed for a couple months, or so I hear.  I will be "promoted" to a more supervising position.  Except my "promotion" doesn't come with any real authority, any real title, or any additional money.  At least I can say it'll only make my resume look better.

Here, Lee V. is teaching these two ladies how to operate the postage machine.  As I said, the people left behind are taking on expanded roles.  I don't think that this craziness is going to settle down until the new year.  

My sister is married.

Last Saturday, my sister got married. This post, however, won’t be so much about her as it is about me. What?! She got a freakin’ day. I can have a freakin’ blog post!

Her marriage to Nate was not something that I was particularly looking forward to. On one hand I am happy that she had found someone that she loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with. As for me though, it was going to be an event where she leaves my family and joins another in that legal/traditional weird thinking kind of way. Also, it was going to be another family event that I would have to attend where I would again have to fend off questions on why I was still single and why I wasn't going to church.

As I sat back and observed it all, I did try to think on the importance of marriage and what it had meant to other family members, friends, and acquaintances that I’ve known throughout my life. I thought about what this all meant to me.

One word that is always thrown around is “love.” When you’re in love you get married. When you’re in love, you’re happy. Love is all you need. Love, love, love. A common reading that I hear at ceremonies and, indeed, heard at my sister’s comes from I Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind…” and every time I hear it I want to gag a little.

I can tell you, I don’t believe in love--at least, not in the more extreme and romanticized version of it. People love, definitely but I don’t believe that love is eternal. I don’t believe in finding a soul mate. I don’t have to look far to find people whose love died or those who have found new love in someone else. History shows me people coming together and then leaving each other. It’s just a fact of life to me.

What I do believe is that two compatible people can meet, fall in love, and enrich each other’s lives so much that the two of them together is stronger than they were apart. That with commitment, a goal, and perhaps a bit of luck, they can make it through the rest of this life together. Perhaps a mashup of two stories may illustrate better what I am thinking.

In Plato’s Symposium, Aristophanes talked about how humans originally existed. These humans were beings whose body consisted of torso, four legs, four arms, and a head with two faces facing in opposite directions. There were three sexes: male-male, male-female, and female-female. These beings believed themselves to be so powerful that they rose up against the gods. Zeus didn't want to destroy the humans otherwise there would be no one to worship them with offerings. So he crippled the humans by cutting them in half. Now instead of threatening the gods, humans are driven to find their other halves.

In Star Trek, the Klingon gods created the first Klingon and they were proud of their accomplishment because they had forged the strongest heart in all creation and that none could stand against it. The Klingon, however, started to weaken and the gods asked why. The Klingon replied, “I am alone.” So the gods went and created a partner which was stronger. The first was jealous of the second and began to do battle. Fortunately, the second was tempered with wisdom and said, “If we join together no force can stop us.” And so together they killed the gods.

Zeus knew as the Klingon gods found out, that when two people come together, they can accomplish anything. I may have a cynical view of love joining two people in eternal bliss. When it comes to my sister and now my brother-in-law, Nate, I believe that if they believe in themselves they can accomplish wonders.

Sad Situation in the Parking Lot

As I pulled into the parking lot at work this morning I spotted some asshole temp taking up two parking spaces.  I was just going to take a picture of the car and quickly vent my annoyance on twitter.  As I took the photo, I noticed that the plush toy on the dash moved.  Yup, someone had brought their cat to work. I'm not a cat person but I felt bad for the little guy.  I wasn't terribly alarmed, thinking that this was animal abuse. If it was summer, that'd be different.  Still not a place to be for cat.

I figured that the temp must be some kind of overly attached cat fanatic.  When I got out of my car to get a closer look, I saw a bunch of crap in the back. Then it dawned on me what I was seeing.  This person was probably living out of his or her--probably her--car.

I told my supervisor and showed her the picture on my phone.  She marched me down to HR to let them know.  I was embarrassed but I was also beginning to worry about what kind of trouble I might be bringing down on the poor temp.  If HR was shitty, they could just let her go.  Not very helpful for a homeless person needing to earn some money.  On the other hand, if they were nice and tried to talk with her about it, that's another boat load of embarrassment right there.  Considering the company's good working relationship with the local homeless center, I was betting it was going to be the latter option.

My Mom's Depressed Dog

I've been dog sitting for my parents since Thursday and I still have a couple more days to go.  I can't wait for it to be over.  Not for my sake but for my mom's dog.  He is ridiculously depressed and I don't think it is going to go away until my mom comes home.

When my parents pulled out of the driveway, Charlie (the dog BTW) was going nuts with his barking and whining.  He jumped on the furniture, ran to every window facing the driveway, and scratched at the door.  I wonder if he does this whenever my mom goes to work.  From what I can guess, he doesn't but maybe that is because my dad is here when she goes.  Anyways, the way he was freaking out, you'd think that he was being left behind forever.

Charlie isn't eating.  I've tried mixing some warmed up canned dog food with his dried dog food and he won't touch either.  He'll accept some scraps of my food but I want him to eat his own food.  I figured that he would have eaten his food by now, 3 days later but he still hasn't touched his bowl.  I gave in somewhat and cooked him up some bacon.  He still wasn't enthusiastic about it like he normally is.  If he could talk, I think he would say, "Meh, bacon?  Oh alright, I'll eat some of that."

Charlie also wasn't drinking until last night when I finally caught him sneaking in some gulps.  I've been changing the water in his bowl twice a day and I think it helped to put some ice cubes in there.  At least his drinking means I don't worry about him dying on me.

As I write this, he currently on the couch looking out toward the drive way.  He'll bark and growl whenever the neighbor dogs across the street become visible but mostly he just sits there and stares out.  Otherwise he is trying to get my attention and take him out for a piss.

There was one brief moment of excitement on Friday night when I took him outside at night, he took off toward the back shed.  I saw him disappear into the shadow and felt him strain at the end of the leash.  I heard a low hiss and I had the feeling he was sniffing out a cat.  I turned on the light from my phone and to my surprise, Charlie was about three feet away from a possum.  After yelling out some choice expletives, I pulled him away, leaving the possum to make a get away.  Good thing I didn't let him have more slack.

Well Bless My Teeth

My dentist doesn't hide his Christian faith.  Passages from the bible are stenciled on the walls. There is Christian lit available to read in the waiting room and even in the examination rooms. It has never bothered me. If it did, I could go elsewhere but the doctor and his staff are very nice and have always treated me well.  The hygienist I usually see is very talkative and will openly talk about her faith and it is with her that I enter this sort of gray zone.

It's not that I don't appreciate her stories but they always leave me thinking, "thank God she isn't my mother."  We were talking about movies this morning. Well, it was mostly her talking I just mumbled along with a vacuum tube in my mouth. Anyways, she got on to Disney movies and how she didn't want to let her kids watch them because of the demonic imagery. The examples were Dr. Facilier from The Princess and the Frog and the Wicked Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. What annoyed me was that she seemed to assume that I agreed with her. I am willing to bet that the vast majority of parents wouldn't hold such a radical position as she does. It is that insulated bubble that some people exist in that really bothers me and I realize that I've got a bubble of my own. It's just that sometimes after listening to her talk, I have to roll my eyes back and go, "really?"

She's nice, though. I swear. Really.

I could be moved.

I read an article this morning that one of the co-founders of facebook, Eduardo Saverin, has renounced his U.S. citizenship presumably to lower his tax obligations.  It was interesting, and even a bit painful, to read comments on this.  People calling him a traitor and for his wealth to be confiscated ex post facto.  While I wouldn’t have done it myself if I were in his shoes, I can certainly understand and I don’t begrudge him of his decision.

Unlike most countries in the world, the United States taxes its citizens that live abroad.  Take for example, John T. Citizen.  If Mr. Citizen were to move to the United Kingdom, he would pay the UK’s income tax plus the US’s income tax.  To give the American government some credit, they do allow a certain amount of income to be credited (up to $90 something thousand) but that is chump change to people like Mr. Saverin.  So if you’re a high end earner paying one country say, 40% and then the US another 35%, I can see why you’d want to consider renouncing citizenship and cutting of the IRS.

I have thought though about meeting a Canadian or a Brit and maybe falling in love with that guy.  I would emigrate for love.  I’d prefer to stay but given the absurd state of gay rights in this country I’d leave.  I don’t think that makes me a traitor because I can find happiness elsewhere.  So what if I did find that special guy, would I become a British or Canadian citizen?  I’m honestly torn but I would lean to yes.

Blast from the past! ...For some of us.

Anybody remember this?

Just try and get that out of heads again!


h/t to mchelbert for the vid upload.

[Fill in the Blank] American

I am a Filipino American.

I am a German American.

Someone I know from the internet as a visible tattoo of the German flag and he gets comments from people written in German. They assume that because he has this tattoo he is German so they assume he can speak the language. He can’t.

Elsewhere on the internet, in a comments section of a news article, there was a little flame war which ended with one of the guys saying that he was a Scottish/Irish American. The guy that he was trading with was from the UK and said that he was an American period and that he can’t be all three.

In the US, it is common for someone to say that they are this kind of American or that kind of American and it must be perplexing to Europeans as to why we go around saying this. How can a person be a German American and not speak German? How can a person be a Filipino American and not know how to eat fried chicken with a spoon?

I sometimes think on how I can make any claims on my Filipino, German, English, Spanish, and Scandinavian heritages. Any ties that I have to those places and cultures are tenuous at best. When I lived in the Philippines, I was not recognized as one of them. And in any real way, I don’t think of myself as being one of them either.

I am an American and when it comes down to it, I think that most people here feel the same way. What we like to do is remind ourselves of where we come from. Most of us are descendents of immigrants and as we cannot lay claim to a culture that has been sitting on this continent since time immemorial, we lay claim to the cultures of our ancestors.

The question of what is American culture has been asked to me so many times. The only answer that I can give is that I don’t know; it’s still in the process of being made.

Grim Gridlock

From the way it looks, the Republicans, as expected will take the House but will fall short of the Senate. This actually might be a blessing in disguise for them. If they were to have taken both chambers, they still wouldn't have been able to accomplish much as President Obama still holds a veto pen. Going into 2012, the Democrats would be able to say that the Republicans had control of Congress but couldn't accomplish much. Since the lower house is in the hands of one party and the upper in the hands of another, the Republicans can say that they still can't do much since the Senate and the President are still stumbling blocks and can appeal to the public to remove them.

Still the Republicans have quite a rope to walk as they have to appear to their Tea Party backers that they are standing up to the President Obama and the rest of the Democrats. Yet they still can't go too hard against the other party as that can backfire on them if they can't move any meaningful legislation without at least a few Democrats coming on board and the President ultimately signing them.

Yes, Ma’am

I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR the other day and a piece they did was about the usage of ma’am. The guest that was brought on thought that this form of address was anachronistic. Women these days tend to be insulted by the word and Sen. Boxer was brought up as an example.

Personally, I use sir and ma’am when I speak to strangers and in a formal setting. I have never been comfortable calling my bosses by their first names. I think though I may be one of the last that still holds to the old forms of address.

My friend Sara has a son and he calls me David. When I was his age, I would never have been allowed to address one of my parent’s friends in that fashion. Actually, I remember getting bonked on the head when I dared to call one of them Sherri. But Sara’s son? Didn’t even notice until a bit later. As I thought about it and as I think about it now, it doesn’t really bother me that he calls me by my name. So I wonder why the expectations that I hold for my own conduct, is not the same that I expect from him.