My Brain Won't Go

I’ve been dealing with a severe case of blogstipation these past couple days. Although there have been plenty of news stories to comment on, they haven’t caught enough interest for me to do so. I thought that I’d give a hodgepodge post of what’s been happening.

The scary stalkish trip to Panera Bread on the south side proved to be a disappointment. My boss accompanied me so that she could see what this guy looked like so she was probably disappointed as well. Maybe not so much, though. I wish he would post his work schedule.

Laura suggested that I go to Chicago this summer for Pride. I’m thinking about it. There are a few logistical problems that I would have to work out first.

Erin brought a friend from work named Chris into class on Wednesday night. He seems pretty nice and he said that he may come to class again next week. I did have to deduct a point when he gave me that “look” when Erin outed me as a Republican.

I’m going over to the Banana to personally track down Julie, the manager. I purposely try to avoid blogging about work on this blog, but I work for a snake. In this world there are few people I truly hate. Scott, the owner, is one of them. I won’t go into it here, but certain actions are driving me away from my job. I love my new manager, but I don’t want to work in this environment anymore where I would love to jab a pen though someone’s eye. I don’t get paid enough for this crap. So I may stick it out until my one year is up and then I’ll make a full transition to the Banana (assuming I get the job). But hopefully, I’ll find something full time by then.

My previous manager, Tracee, sued Scott. She told me yesterday that he settled.

In a random act of kindness, someone stuck a Spartan S log on my car windshield the other day. Looking at my car, I you can definitely tell that I’m more than just a fan of State. It’s cool that another Spartan left me a little gift.

I’ve been running outside at the River Park. I do so much better outside than I do on the indoor track. At the indoor track, I do eleven laps (1 1/10 mile) before I have to stop and walk. At the River Park, I can bang out 1 ¾ of a mile with no problem. Yesterday I managed 2 miles with only a short walk maybe twenty feet at the one mile turn around and then a stop to stretch out a muscle that was bothering me at the 1 ¾ mark. The rest was—a sort of thing you might call running.

Have you seen the new one dollar coins? Key Bank doesn’t have them so I had pretty much given up on receiving one. Unlike the new quarters, no one uses dollar coins so it’s not like I can hope that I find one in my till. Well, some one did use dollar coins and I managed to snag two of them. Personally, I would want to see the dollar bill replaced with the dollar coin. I’m all for the government trimming costs.

And that’s pretty much it.

Update #2

I took a timed practice test and scored 151. The last time I took a timed test I hit 151 too. I know that the preparers try to make these tests so that your average score doesn’t go up or down, but c’mon. I did two questions better in games but that was mitigated by three questions worse in reasoning.

That makes 3 hours testing and about 4 hours total in studying pizzas topped with god-awful ingredients and roommates that can’t room together.

This weekend, I will be going over my test and trying to find out why the real answers were better than the ones that I gave. Oh, and to figure out how a three axis problem works.

Sci-Fi Got More Boring

What the hell? Battlestar Galactica won’t return until next year. Nuts.

So if those four are really cylons, where is the fifth one? Any suspicions that it’s Lt. Gaeta?

If a human-cylon hybrid is so important, what’s the significance of Tyrol’s kid? If Tyrol and Sharon (Boomer) had a kid, would that mean that if the Dorals and Sixes tried loving one another and got their freak on, they would be able to reproduce too?

If the character Billy hadn’t been killed off, would the writers have made him a cylon?

Why would those four be the super secret cylons anyways? Did the cylons know or plan Galactica’s escape from the colonies?

Did Starbuck really die? Why would she have gone to Earth? How did she get there and back? And if it is such a short trip, why can’t the fleet hop to it?

I think we're gonna pass...

Good for you if your two babybmamas are still on good terms with you but, really, we're looking for more reliable references.

You may begin.

or


Tough choice.

Brian, a week ago, suggested that I put up a weekly update on how I am doing on my LSAT studying. Well here's the first one.

Since last Tuesday, I have done approximately three hours total of logic games. I'm fairly good with all the other parts of the LSAT but I suck at logic games, also known as Analytical Reasoning. The good thing is that this portion of the exam actually has the best potential of improvement. I'm pretty good with the rest of the exam which is Logical Reasoning (arguments) and Reading Comprehension. There is also the Writing Sample but I've had plenty of experience in bullshitting during college so that doesn't bother me either.

I swear I would have done more over the weekend. But c'mon, it was Saint Patrick's Day.

Long Ass Post on My Chicago Trip

If you only look at the pictures, I don’t blame you. Click on them if you’d like to see them slightly larger.

As you probably have known, my friend Erin and I went to Chicago to celebrate my birthday (15th), Saint Patrick’s Day (17th), and Mandie’s birthday (umm… sometime next week). Mandie lives in Chicago working on an internship which is great for us because we got a place to sleep for free. To get there, we took the South Shore line from South Bend Regional Airport. $10.55 to get there and $9.00 to get back. I’d say we saved money by going with them rather than by driving. Plus, we’d get to avoid the Dan Ryan which by itself, is worth it.

Erin got me a book on Barak Obama for my birthday. She's a fan and she's hoping to convert me.

Oh, yeah—Mr. B. took us to the airport where we had to use the newly built roundabouts. I’m telling you, most Americans can not handle those “God damned things” as Mr. B. would call them. Based on the idiot driver who charged into the roundabout without yielding, I’d have to agree.

On the South Shore line near Gary. The nastiest place between home and Chicago. Basically, that's just Indiana.

It was time to eat when we arrived in downtown Chicago where Mandie was waiting for us with free merchandise from the bar where she had already started her drinking. I got a Baileys hat with “St. Patrick’s Day – Chicago 2007” on it. I would have gotten a shirt too, but they didn’t have one with my size. We decided that we would eat there in downtown at a place called Giordano’s. I’ve never had a Chicago deep dish pizza before and I wanted to try it out. Hot damn, if it wasn’t some of the best pizza I’ve ever had the pleasure of consuming.

I could have sworn that I was told that Mandie lived in The Loop. Turns out that she only works there. We had to catch the Red Line to Lawrence to get to her place. It’s a nice apartment that she shares with five other people. One of them gave up her bed so I had a place to sleep. It was late and we knew we had to get up early the next day so they went to sleep while I watch TV for a while before nodding off myself.

How can you not love a view like that?

Other than the sucky view from the bedroom window and every window on the north and south side of the apartment, it was a nice neighborhood. One that I wouldn't mind living in-- if the rent was slashed by 75%.


Let me tell you, the most frustrating part of the whole experience was not allowing for time. When it comes to trips and such, I am a planner. Those two are not. The River Dyeing was at 10:45 in the morning. We left just before ten. If had been me. I would have been at the Chicago River hugging the bridge rails at the time we left. When we got there, there wasn’t a place for us as I suspected there would be. So I had to lift my camera over the crowd to see. Then we realized that we were too far up the river to see them dye the river so we left for breakfast thinking we would come back later and see it.

Click on the picture and you can see the river start to turn green between the kayakers.

After breakfast, we went over to Millennium Park to see the parade. We were getting there a bit late (again) but we climbed up a retaining wall and got to sit on a high ledge. If we fell, we probably would have broken some bones or died. Although we were a distance from the street, we were able to sit and see over the crowd. I was happy even though we realized that we were sitting just past the disband point. Still, we got to see some interesting things. Personally, I thought the bagpipers were the best part of the parade. Erin held out hope to see Sen. Obama. It didn’t happen.

Anywhere you can go for a view.

The best part of the parade was the first thing we saw.

Umm, where was Good Luck Bear?


The normally green Chicago River and the dyed green Chicago River.

Before the parade had ended, we found a lower part of the wall ledge to jump from. We then headed for the river to take a couple pictures of the green water. After doing that, I wanted to go up the Sears Tower. A gentleman there told us that the wait was over an hour. Erin and Mandie didn’t want to wait that long and said that they were going to go do something else and that they would come back and meet me. Well, I’m not going to wait and go up that thing by myself! (That made me sound like I’m afraid of heights but I’m not.) Before we left, I made sure to pick up a couple of postcards.

Chicago River flowing out into Lake Michigan. View from Michigan Avenue.



Navy Pier was not very busy when we got there. There wasn’t really much that was open or to see but we got dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. It was such a good dinner that ended up costing about $105 dollars for the three of us. But we split a salad, an onion ring appetizer, three entrées, and a dessert. It was a great time. Plus the waiter was very friendly. The food left us so full that we had to go back to the apartment and rest before heading out to the bars.


Navy Pier

I was ready to go at nine. One of Amanda’s friends had called and said that she and some others were at a gay bar in Boystown. I was pumped. Amanda and Erin were not. They were sleeping and I was not happy. It appeared that there were going to go to sleep on Saint Patrick’s Day. I was about to loose it when I heard, “Do we still want to go out?” By ten, I was about to steal Mandie’s phone, call Cora up, and ask her for directions. I had no idea where in Chicago I was or where I was going but by God, I was going to go somewhere that night. Eventually, though Mandie got up and dragged Erin into the land of the living with her. They decided that they didn’t want to go to the gay bar. Yeah, thanks. So we ended up at some lame bar where all people were either at the bar or reclining in booths talking. After one drink there, we moved down to Wrigleyville where we went to Sluggers which was on the south-western side of Wrigley Field. It was better than the previous bar, but it was a sports bar. It’s some place I would enjoy back home but I had my heart set on the gay bar. It was entertaining still but after 1:30, I was ready to go to bed.

I passed right out and got my sleep in because I was ready to head into Boystown the next day to see the sights. The girls, well they decided to sleep and then go grocery shopping. By the time we did that, we only had an hour left before our train back to South Bend was due to leave. I can not begin to tell you how disappointed I was. You know, I don’t know if I would have frozen up at the gay bar, or freaked out in Boystown, but I would have at least liked to have tried it.

I had to good time overall, and I am glad I went. Perhaps some other time, I will get the chance to so some of the things I had hoped to do in this trip.

See? I’m not crazy.

Every now and then I try to convince myself that my parents aren’t homophobes. I could tell them and after some shock, they’d realize that they love me and that they’ll accept me. Then they say some stupid shit that makes me think that they will never get it.

Last night, I was watching Family Guy with my dad. It was that episode where Stewie and Brian go into the army. In one of the scenes, a recruiting poster said “Be All That You Can Be – Unless You’re Gay” My dad then says, “Then they go to the front of the line.”

What a way to end my birthday.

Real quick here...

Happy Pi Day everyone.

I haven’t been feeling like blogging for the past couple of days. I’ll spare you the sob story. Anyways, it’s also Hump Day so a good deal of fun should be sliding my way soon. I get paid tomorrow so I will be able to have a little spending cash for Chicago. I figure I can contribute to Chicago’s bloated government programs and support its slimy politicians without feeling like I got taken for a ride.

I got a haircut yesterday. I got what I paid for. I’ll go somewhere else next time.



Minge has got me with the long hair combed down. It’s not greasy, just wet.

It’s been a week since I put in an application to the Banana Republic and I haven't heard from them. That’s alright. I was overqualified for them anyways. Nothing from County either. You know, if they aren’t hiring for that damn court clerk position, they should take the post down.

I got nothing from the Panera Bread guy. See the other blog for details. If it’s not up yet, wait for it.

Heading to the Windy City

I may not be moving to Chicago but I will be visiting for Saint Patrick’s Day. Specifically, I will be there from the evening of the 16th until late on the 18th. My friend’s sister has an apartment in downtown so I’m going to be in the middle of all the action. I am so stoked. Chicago bloggers, do you have any suggestions as to what to see and do?

By the river in SB.

A couple days ago, my mom got an interview with some company and had to go to downtown South Bend. She's not that comfortable driving in the city in the first place. Add some unfamiliarity and that is over the top for her. So Dad offered to drive. My sister and I decided to tag along. I decided to go because I knew that they were going out to lunch and hey, I'll never pass up free food.

While we waited for her, Kris and I took a walk by the river. Dad took a nap in the car.

They hang around like they don't believe that winter is actually here.

The Saint Joseph River

Oh, I've got to step it up at the track and see a barber.



I've never seen the real salmon run. Maybe I'll try to see it this year.

This is where the salmon enter.

Then they start climbing....

Over and past the dam...

Well we got to be fair, right?

Enter that water, and you might come out with an extra eye.

Rudy! Rudy!

Time came out with a poll that predicted how an election might go if Sen. Hillary Clinton, Sen. Barak Obama, Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and Sen. John McCain were on the ballot. The results showed that should Rudy Giuliani emerge as the Republican nominee for President, he would win in a match up with Sen. Clinton or Sen. Obama. Although Sen. McCain might squeeze past Sen. Clinton, he would loose to Sen. Obama.

I’m actually surprised that a more conservative Republican candidate hasn’t emerged. The three big ones all have histories that worry conservatives. Gov. Mitt Romney is doing the predictable thing. He is trying to appear more conservative in order to catch that part of the Republican coalition. Sen. McCain, in maverick style, seems to be trying to appeal to independents and conservative Democrats. That’s stupid. You have to shore up the base first and then after you’ve locked them up with the primary, you go after the middle voters.

Do I like Rudy Giuliani? Eh, I’d like him more if he had been a governor first. Although NYC demands government that is on par with state government, I’d still like a little more experience from him before he takes the nation’s helm.

It’s still too early though.

Yeah, it's you.

Luke had an interesting post that I had to copy. Write something about someone. I don't know if it was the original intent but as Luke had also observed, it turns into a kind of Post Secret type of post.

You are my star, my guiding light. Where you go, I have no shame following.

You continuously make wrong choices that hurt those around you. As much as I want to give you up, I can’t. I love you.

I used to think I was superior to you. You have humbled me. I now look up to you and realize that you were a success all along.

You were the first to befriend me. For that, I will always be grateful. Now, when I think of you, I think, “Where did I go wrong?” Just like that song. I used to wonder if I could have done anything that would have helped you. The answer is no.

I thought you and I were friends in high school. When I saw you last summer, you barely said anything to me. What a shame, I had so much I wanted to talk to you about. I’d rather talk to your brother now.

You reminded me so much of myself yet you were also so different. I fell so hard for you. I think you’re lying.

You deserve an apology but I don’t think that you’ll hear it from my mouth. I don’t have the courage to face you.

You were the best mentor I ever had. If you hadn’t had taken me to that meeting I may not have come out. Thank you and I’m sorry that I offended you.

You live by the saying, “Work hard, play hard.” Calm down. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.

I thought that I was a grumpy pessimist but you take the cake. You should consider holding your tongue more often.

You took the position that would have gone to me. Since I couldn’t serve, I’m glad they selected you.

You were the best seasonal friend that I ever had. I miss your wild personality. Although you don’t do the long distance friendship thing, if you ever change your mind, you have my email address.

You are not my type and I know it would never work out if we got together. Yet, I can’t help but think that I would learn a lot if we did. I’m sorry. I can’t.

You and I used to be on the same page. Now, you are more removed from me than most strangers. Would you like to go to the next convention? Maybe we could reconnect.

I put on my best professional attitude whenever I see you. It hides the disgust that I feel. Disgust that I not only feel towards you, but for what I feel towards myself. Because I so rarely hate someone like I do you.

26

That sign has been hanging over my desk for a little over two years now. I put it up there shortly after I had broken down and finally admitted to myself that I was gay. I felt that if I didn’t tell anyone, I would soon go back into self-denial. At the time, the only person that I felt I could come out to lived up in Mount Pleasant which was hours away. Sara once told me that if a certain friend of hers (not me, by the way) ever came out, she would still be friends with him. So I contacted her and said that I was going to come up and see her and that I had something that I had to tell her. The 26th was the day that I was going to do it. Since it was a couple of days away, there was still a chance that I could change my mind about the whole thing. I wrote a big 26 on a piece of paper and stuck it above my computer to get me to commit.

In the early morning hours of the 26th, I borrowed my mom’s car and made the trip up north where I finally told the first person that I was gay. I made a choice and once it was executed, I could never go back. Since then, I have never lied to myself by thinking I was really straight.

The next day, I told someone else. Within a few months, more people knew and by fall, my sister did too. It’s been slow and filled with some very tense and awkward moments. Some of it was really bad and yet, a lot was also good.

I used to think of 26 as being connected with my death somehow.* In a way, it was the death of a personal deceit.




No, I did not rip that from the movie, 23

22

Two years ago, I beat myself up and resolved to tell someone why. Two years. What do I have to show for it? More than what I had then.

Take the damn blood!

I have donated blood only once and I lied in order to do it. According to the American Red Cross, I am ineligible to donate blood because I have lived in Europe for longer than six months. Therefore, I am at risk for Variant Creutzfeld-Jacob Disease or Mad Cow Disease.

You are not eligible to donate if:

From January 1, 1980, through December 31, 1996, you spent (visited or lived) a cumulative time of 3 months or more, in the United Kingdom (UK), or

From January 1, 1980, to present, you had a blood transfusion in an any country(ies) in the (UK)…

You were a member of the U.S. military, a civilian military employee, or a dependent of a member of the U.S. military who spend a total time of 6 months on or associated with a military base in any of the following areas during the specified time frames

*From 1980 through 1990 – Belgium, the Netherlands (Holland), or Germany
*From 1980 through 1996 – Spain, Portugal, Turkey, Italy, or Greece

There was a recent story of a blood shortage in the area and I went today to check and see if the Red Cross had modified its restrictions. Turns out, that I am still ineligible. Who knows if I will ever be able to legitimately donate blood. Even if they do relax the vCJD restriction there may be another obstacle: Men who have had sex with another man since 1977 can not donate. While I haven’t had sex with another guy, who knows, maybe by the time the vCJD restriction is lifted, I may have.

It really gets to me how restrictive the Red Cross is about blood donors. I would probably be one of the safest sources of blood considering my safe and utterly boring lifestyle. When the call out for blood donors goes out, the phrase “beggars can’t be choosers,” comes to my mind. I’ve got blood and will freely give it out but they won’t take it.

I may not be able to give blood but my bone marrow is available. If you haven’t, please consider joining the registry.

National Marrow Donor Program – www.marrow.org

State of The Lake

Temperatures climbed above the freezing point the other day bringing us out of the sixth longest cold stretch in recorded history. Global warming, my ass.

As always, click on the pictures for a larger version.

I headed up to St. Joseph and the Lake to see what the view was like. I had been to Lake Michigan during winter only once before. I remember that I couldn't tell where the beach ended and the water began. I certainly didn't like the idea of walking along the ice. If I was going to go through, who knew how deep that water would have been.

I walked up on a cliff of ice. Based on the beach walls, I knew that I was standing about five feet above the sand. In the picture above you can see how much of a drop there is. And I'm certain that there is still a ways to go until you'd hit the bottom.

I felt like I was in the arctic searching for the Fortress of Solitude. (Is that it on the horizon?)

Looking towards Chicago.

If you look carefully, you can see the lighthouse. I would have loved to go on the pier. Unfortunately, I didn't quite know how to get to it. Walking on the ice was not the solution.

Up on the bluffs, I saw this opossum. I've never seen one in the daylight and alive at the same time.

Ah, open water. To my knowledge, only Lake Erie freezes over.

Four letter word for "complete"

I don't normally do crossword puzzles. I hate asking for help on them but I did do one yesterday and I felt smart.

If you are stuck on this Sunday's Fox Trot here are the answers. That's right, I didn't think any of you needed them.

Across:

1. Koi
4. WA
6. Gump
8. In
9. St
10. Ugly
12. Feral
14. Zits
15. It
17. OT
18. Eons
20. OS
21. PGE

Down:

1. Kgs
2. Outfits
3. IM
4. Willing
5. Any
7. Purse
11. GA
13. ET
14. Zoo
16. Tse
19. Op

Time for a promotion

Happy Birthday Herb!

I'd send you a gift but I don't have enough information to stalk track you down. So I'll just wish you a great year ahead instead.

I’ll leave it to the young.

I had to stay late at work to get a couple things completed so it was going to be a while before I could catch dinner at home. To save time, I went to Fazoli’s. Fast food Italian—gotta love it. I go up to the counter and I am about to order. The manager there, Adam, is at the register and he gives me this look. Kinda like how a scam artist has the I’ve-got-a-sucker face.

“Would you like a bottomless bowl for $3.99?”

Excuse me? Does it look like I am the kind of person that would come in and eat as much as possible? Wait… don’t answer that. “Uh, no. I’d like a number two please.”

I grab my chicken parmesan and head to my table insulted. It wasn’t the guy’s fault really. It is his job to suggest the specials. But do I really fall into the target customer group? Probably. I am a big guy but c’mon, he made more money off my #2 order than he would have from that bottomless bowl offer.

When I was in high school, I probably would have taken him up on that offer. I would eat anything and everything in site. I was like Peter in Fox Trot only I got bigger and he wouldn’t. Now, it actually makes me a little nauseous thinking about eating multiple bowls of pasta. Have you seen how big their serving sizes are? Buffets in general have lost their appeal for me. The only exception would be a Chinese buffet but I like them because of the variety of foods not the quantity that I can stuff my self with. When I was a teen, I could easily put away five, six trips of food. Now, I barely manage two.