Kraig and Stacey are back from out west. I went their party that they held last night. I’d like to say that I had a great time but that would be stretching it a bit. BUT, I’m glad that I did go because I was happy to see Kraig and Stacey again. My trouble was connecting with the other people that were there. It was something that was not lost on Kraig for he did mention it to me. I knew some of these people in high school and now it was awkward for me. I’ve “changed” since the last time we were together and so have they. It felt like I was with strangers who were impersonating people I knew from my past.
I don’t know why it was different for me to reconnect with some others like Kraig and Season a few years back. Perhaps it was Kraig’s friendly and disarming personality. Maybe it was Season’s acceptance. All I can say was that it was weird.
I suppose the big part of the awkwardness—at least on my part—comes from me being gay. I’ve only come out to a few people. (By the way, for people thinking about coming out to a few friends and then asking them to keep it a secret—good luck on that.) After my sister, it seemed a bit ridiculous to have to tell people that I am gay. To do that for everyone that I know would be exhausting. From what I believe, Kraig found out through Stacey, who heard me make a comment in passing.
So now that the cat’s outta the bag, I don’t know who it has rubbed against. I don’t know how far this information has traveled. No one has said anything. So we all go on without knowing or, in fact, knowing exactly what we aren’t speaking to each other easily.
Bah. It’s probably all in my head.