I can’t tie them in a bow, but...

WARNING: If you don’t like looking at ears, do not proceed.
This means you, JADE.


Pretty much everyone has issues with something on their body. I have more than a couple but recently, I got to noticing people that I really respect and how they are different from me in the ear department. Odd, I know. But I remember back to high school where we were talking about ear lobes and how it had to do with intelligence. Someone said that the more a person’s lobes were attached to their heads, the more intelligent they were. Josh didn’t hesitate to say, “Then [David] must be retarded.”

I have humongous ear lobes. It has bothered me for the longest time and it still does. So much so that I wonder if I should bother, someday, with plastic surgery. You know, lobe reduction surgery. I know, while I’m at it, I can get my nose done too!

Going through my picture collection, I was surprised to find out that there weren’t that many close up shots of my head that could illustrate how far my lobes jut out. Actually, I found a couple, but those were far more unacceptable to show you than this one. I’m still embarrassed to show it, but it’s from my last semester of college.

Here’s a more recent shot. I need a hair cut, I know.

Take a look at your ear. Are you intelligent, or are you getting close to Ferengi ears like I am?

Comments

Kapitano said…
I think it's quite a nicely shaped ear. Not that I pay much attention to men's ears usually. Actually when I do it's with my tongue rather than my eyes. In fact I have a vague recollection of sticking my tongue in someone's ear last week. I was rather drunk and can remember nothing else about the whole night, including who's ear it might possibly have been. Though I think they liked it. Does that make me a slut?

Um. Where was I? Oh yes, David's ears. The lobes are slightly thick, but I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out. Even if I had my tongue in them. Um.

Shall I be quiet now?
Anonymous said…
Your ear lobes aren't this humongous you say. They're only big. But normally big, not humongous.
But I think I understand you, because I think my teeth are enormous and nobody agrees. Even some dentists who talked to me about that. Anyway, I think they're enormous!lol!
But don't worry about it. I must agree with Kapitano: I wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't pointed it out.
Hugs!
Minge said…
I, too, am retarded.

You've got a nice ear.
David said…
@kapitano: Are you trying to make me blush? *ahem*

@carioca: I bet you've got a million dollar smile, though.

@minge: Um, I'm going assume the phrase, "I'm retarded" has a slightly different meaning for the Brits than for us Americans. But thanks :) I'd be crushed if you had to shut down your monitor and then told me.
Minge said…
I think retarded means the same thing on both sides of the Atlantic.

Your ears are quite sexy, actually. If I had an ear fetish, I'd be chatting you up.
Minge said…
I heard something bizarre on the radio this morning. If your ring finger is longer than your index finger, you'll be better at maths than language. If your indeix finger is longer than your ring finger, you'll be better at reading/writing/english than mathematics. I might have worked in finance since leaving the world of education, but I can't add up for toffee and my ring is huge.
David said…
@Minge: Here's another one on that:

If your ring finger is longer than your index finger, you're more likely to be gay. (Something to do with testosterone or some other hormone during development)

Would you believe I heard that in my biology class at uni? The professor even had me extend my fingers. I'm sure everyone thought it was a bunch of hooey but it sure made me blush.

My ring finger is slightly longer than my index.
Anonymous said…
As strange as it sounds I always felt the same way about my ear lobes until I needed to have some scar tissue removed (my ears were pierced but I am allergic to the metal) long story short I ended up with ear lobes the size of my thumb nail. I had some work done and if you ever feel the need I will pass on the Dr.'s info.

By the way, I see nothing wrong with your ears and I agree that if I had an ear fetish I would be all over them.
David said…
@Laurie: When was this? And... I don't think Jed would approve you naughty girl. :-P

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