The Food Category

I'm a little paranoid about eating hard foods right now. My mouth has stopped bleeding and I don't want to reopen the wound. Yesterday, I was eating only soup. Soup is good. I like soup. But I like soup once in a while not three times a day. I told my mom she was cruel when she cooked up some great smelling Chinese food for Dad and herself while I got stuck with beef and vegetable soup. I've learned that there are some downsides to this whole teeth removal. I'm getting around it though. In one case, I'm actually glad I don't have to eat some things.


Voortman's windmill cookies are my favorite manufactured cookie. When I was little and living in Key West, FL, I used to call them sandal cookies. If my mom or dad came in with a bag of Voortman's I would always beg them to get more sandal cookies. Why did I call them sandal cookies and not windmill? Well, I didn't know what a windmill was at the time and the only thing that my mind could attach to the cookie were sandals. They looked like the soles of my sandals to me. Missing my wisdom teeth won't keep me from eating these delicious things. Just dunk them in some milk and you're all set to go.


My dad likes licorice. My dad likes real licorice is the stuff that is shown above. Pay attention John P., this post is for you. This is Kookaburra licorice and it is imported from Australia. It is the most vile imported candy that we sell at my store in my opinion. However, the old people like it and buy a lot of it. And when they willingly pay $6.99/lb, it's not like we are going to stop providing it. I think we should though. The stuff reminds me of congealed industrial sludge. Every now and then, my dad will "encourage" me to try some of the crappy foods he likes. He's given up on the licorice, but he did try to get me to taste his pepper jelly. Blech. At least I have an excuse not to try his suggestions. "It might get lodged in the gums and cause an infection." Total BS.

Comments

Kapitano said…
Licorice. How can anyone possibly like licorice?

I don't like raw tomatos, fried seaweed, or beer. But I can sort-of understand why some people do. But licorice? It's how I imagine methylated spirits would taste.

As regards boring liquid food - in my attempts to become slim, svelte and gorgeous, I am living mostly on water and porridge. If I don't start being thin soon, I may decide it's better to be fat and happy.
Thu Oct 12, 03:38:00 PM EDT
John Provis said…
Licorice is possibly the most disgusting food available, anywhere. Except maybe for vegemite. And yes, you can blame Aussies for that one too... (I don't think we invented licorice though, and I didn't even know we exported it - so I can only apologise on behalf of all right-minded Australians). I don't think licorice tastes like methylated spirits though (having had some experience with that taste via food cooked on a camping stove in the dark, that somehow got the meths spilt in it... urgh) - I'd say it's more like a mixture of bitumen and stale sweat.
Thu Oct 12, 06:55:00 PM EDT
David said…
John, those licorice packages come with a big "Export Only" stamp. I'm begining to think that there is an Australian conspiracy going on here. Just like with your Foster's Beer, I think that you guys go around saying, "This stuff sucks--send it to the Americans."

Vegemite. You can actually find that stuff here in the states can you believe it? Yet, it seems like no one has tasted it or even heard of it.
Fri Oct 13, 10:27:00 PM EDT
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