"You're Rats With Wings!"

Roe had an interesting topic on his show today. He mentioned some news clip about some ornithologist talking about how seagulls have adapted to inland life. It’s something that my family has commented about every now and then. Growing up by Lake Michigan, they were just there. However, I didn’t see them that much around Niles, where we lived. Other than the lake, the only other places that I really noticed them were near the dump or at Grape Road. (Grape Road generally refers to a large shopping district in Mishawaka, IN.) When I went to college in East Lansing, I actually noticed that those birds were there too. East Lansing is in the middle of Michigan. Like the ornithologist mentioned on the program, these were one of the generations of gulls that have never seen the water.

So how did they get here? The guy said that gulls will go anywhere where there is flat land and there is plenty of food. Still, how did they come from the sea coast, to the middle of the country? On ships (that traveled through the Great Lakes)? The interstate? Maybe they just hopped from dump to dump until they invaded every part of the North America. These birds are generally known as the rats of the air. They feed on anything and everything. As Jim said, “Our trash dumps have more food than an Afghan restaurant.” They are aggressive. One lady had a story that we could all relate to: the gulls at Walt Disney World. For those of you who have visited the kingdom where money magically disappears, you can relate to this. While traveling through these parks, you know better than to hold out your food or even separate yourself from it. If you do, a bird is going to scoop down and take it. A flock will just set up bombing runs where they cruise above the crowd waiting for someone to make a mistake. They fly so low, you could practically reach up and hit one if you were fast enough. It’s getting so bad, that you have to wear a hat while visiting the park. Otherwise, you are definitely going to get a surprise on your head.

My friend Adam used to feed Alka-Seltzer tablets to the birds for an obvious result. I used to be appalled. Now, I’m beginning to think he was on to something. Gull hunting anyone?

You too can listen to the Roe Conn show. Go to WLS, click on "Listen to WLS live". I prefer to use the MP3 option and use my iTunes program. Roe Conn is on from 1500-1900 EST or 2000-2400 UT. The program is comedy/commentary on various current events both local and national. Sometimes you hear the most absurd topics on that show.