Are you fucking kidding me?!
MARSHALL, TX – The ACLU has learned a school bus that transports children to and from Marshall Elementary School passes 8 local churches per trip. “That’s too many,” said ACLU spokesperson Pete Peters. “Those churches expose children to crosses and catchy little religious phrases, things that kids should not be exposed to while being driven by governmental busses.”
The Republican led city council says that it would be a logistical nightmare for the bus to avoid the institutions of religion. “The bus would have to start its route an hour early and the kids wouldn’t get home until an hour later,” says City Councilman, Jeff Todd. But Mr. Peters insists he’s worked out the details. “I planned it out on Yahoo! Maps this morning,” he said. “When the bus is on Main Street, instead of turning left on 3rd Avenue, it should take a right on Austin Street, a left on Magnolia Street, a left on Pine Lane, drive through the Wendy’s parking lot, drive across Crazy Jeb Bellows ranch, make a U-turn over the center divider on Perkins Street and BAM, you’ve got a bus route that gets everyone to school and doesn’t compromise anyone’s civil liberties.”
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