We're Not Together

I have been crushing hard on one of my coworkers for a couple of years. A mutual friend has remarked that we are so similar. We get along great. It's hard to read him though. Sometimes he indicates that he is straight by talking about a crush or brings up the lady that he is dating. Yet, there are other times where there is this doublespeak and I get this vibe that he may not be straight. That same mutual friend mentioned above, gets that vibe as well.

Three of us were talking today and he and I were going back and forth on the banter. It was close to his time to go and the third said something along the lines of, "are you leaving me too?" She thought that I was leaving as the same time as my crush. I was not.

"Oh, we're not together."

I looked at him and saw his face. It dropped and he looked hurt. He was also quiet. I laughed to emphasize that it was doublespeak banter. Yet, I was dying inside. I regretted saying it.

A little later in the day, the other coworker came up to me and remarked, "Did you see his face? It was like his pet had died."

There are so many conflicting signals that I get from him. As I said to one friend, "He is [straight] until he says he isn't."