Last Sunday, I went to a roller skating birthday party for my friend Carrie. I haven’t gone roller skating since I was in junior high. Between then and now, however, I have gone rollerblading which I find easier. Now that I look back on it, I probably should have chosen blades than skates but at the time I figured, when in Rome…
When I get out on the floor, I remembered that I had my cell on me and I knew from past experience that I was going to fall at least once that night and I didn’t want to land on the phone. So I exited at the first gate I could so that I could hand it over to Erin (who can’t skate because she was pregnant). I was getting on the rough spot when I fell backwards. Instead of my left foot rolling out and away from my body, it rolled under causing my lower leg to snap.
I heard a crack in and saw my leg bend in an unnatural way. I must have blocked the pain because although I was still feeling the pain, it wasn’t to the point where I was screaming in agony. I tried to pick up my leg but I could sense that my foot was not responding. It was like a dead weight. I told Erin who had come over that I had broken my leg and that she needed to call the ambulance. I also told her that she needed to remove the skates. She didn’t want to do them because she thought I might have sprained my ankle instead. I swear if she had said that one more time, I probably would have yelled at her.
I felt so bad because I hadn’t been there for more than five minutes and I was already causing a scene. I can’t imagine how horrified Carrie was and I hope that I didn’t ruin her night. But I was taken by ambulance to the local hospital and then transferred to another when it was clear that I was going to need surgery.
I started my “surgery” at 11:00 and I didn’t wake up until 21:00. Apparently I had to go under twice because the first time, they had a part missing that they had to have transported down from Kalamazoo. The funny thing is that both the doctor and nurse referred to a “conversation” with them in between the two knock out periods. I don’t remember a thing and it’s odd to know about things I said but don’t remember saying.
One memory that I do have is waking up in recovery the first time. I remember the nurse talking to me, explaining where I was but I was too groggy to hold a conversation. So I started singing, “Wander My Friends*” The last thing I remember before drifting away was her saying, “What?”
To my horror, I woke up at 21:00 with a catheter in me. “Damn,” was all I could say. After the wonderful experience of having another man yank a tube out of my penis, it was a long and painful time before I could start peeing on my own. And then came the physical therapy where I found out that I could not handle crutches so I had to be given a walker. What made a bad situation worse was the fact that my “good” foot was having a gout flare-up. That set me back as well as a nagging fever and inability to make a bowel movement.
Finally, on Friday, I broke my fever, dropped a few deuces, and hopped on my leg well enough for them to finally let me go. Since being at home, my good leg has been suffering because of all the weight it’s bearing and I think my knee would knee me if it could. I’m still resting and I haven’t much energy to do anything but make necessary travels to the toilet and fridge.
So it will be 2 months before I can put any weight on my leg and up to six months before I can start playing on it. I think I will cancel my Y membership as it would be cheaper to just pay for a new activation then.
I’ll be going back to work on Monday. I feel bad for leaving them in a lurch but they are letting me come in and use a wheelchair. It was nice though to have a few days away from work. I’m going to miss Judge Judy, Judge Marilyn Milian, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Hatchett, Judge Alex, Judge Jeanine Pirro, and Judge David Young.
*Yes, I’m that much of a geek. And yes, I do know the lyrics well enough to sing them in my sleep. It may not be phonetically correct but yes…
h/t to bezner72 on YouTube for posting.