Saturday, October 04, 2008

Minor Failures for a Personal Win

Earlier this week, I was invited to go to Ann Arbor by Karl with plans to go to the gay bar. I was excited and a bit afraid as I usually am in these situations. Not that really has any worth since I’ve only been to a gay bar only twice before. But I decided to go because it was an opportunity that I don’t get around here seeing how none of my friends seem comfortable coming with me to the bar and I sure as hell am not going to do it alone.

I just came back from there and I had a great time. But this post is about all the little things that went wrong.

The first thing that threatened my trip was that on Thursday night, I locked my key in the car at Wal-mart. Not a terribly big thing since there was spare that was eventually found and I did not have to spend money breaking into my own car.

One big negative was that I was going to Ann Arbor—which is like going into the lion’s den. It’s even more dangerous for my car which is plastered in Michigan State stuff. Not only that, but I’d be there the night before and on the day of Michigan’s homecoming game against Illinois.

Again, about my car… on my way there, I found out that I have an oil leak. Checking the oil, I found out that I had none. The dipstick came out bone dry. I checked the damn thing a month ago and all was fine. So I had to buy a few quarts at a gas station.

I made the decision that if I was going to dance like Karl was urging me to, I was going to need a lot of Dutch courage. A LOT. Like four bottles and three shots worth. So we started dancing and I was having fun. And for that small amount of time, I was in a perfect zone. Eventually, though, I all that jumping and gyrating was making me feel queasy. Karl met up with a friend of his and he went off and did his own thing. At first, I was a little mad that I was left alone but then I was secretly glad because by then I was feeling like I needed to slow down.

I went upstairs where I could overlook the dance floor and sat down at an empty table. A guy came over to me and started saying stuff to me. That’s cool and whatever, but the problem is that I couldn’t understand a word that he was saying. The only thing that I heard was, “Are you wasted?” Wasted? No. But I wasn’t going to deny that I was a little off. He dismissed me right there, like I wasn’t worth his time. Oooh, I just wanted punch him right there and then.

But I suppose he was sort of right because I was slowly beginning to feel worse and eventually I vomited. I had to deposit it in my beer bottle and in some plastic cups that were on the table. So yeah, now I was the asshole that puked in the corner. I was so embarrassed even though no one noticed. Still, I’m sure that the stink would have started to drift and I was out of there like lighting… madly texting Karl that I needed to go now. I felt so bad that I had to cut his night short.

I had a rough night after getting back to the apartment.

So Karl had to go to work in the morning (how he could do that amazes me). I was allowed to say and sleep in which I did for a couple more hours. I’ve been through Ann Arbor before but I never stopped and toured the campus. I thought that I would do that and take some pictures for the blog. I would have taken some at the bar, but I honestly never thought about it. So I get over the UofM Law School and I reach into my pocket for my camera only to discover that it’s not there. I left it back the apartment. Fuck. I had to text Karl to ship it back to me.

And so I thought that the little disaster were going to be over because I was now going home. Oh no, fate had one more stunt to pull. So I hightail it out of there to avoid the incoming crowds and head for a McDonald’s. I needed something to eat as well as something to sooth my sore throat. I place my order and I reach into my right pocket where I know I have a ten. I feel around past the other junk that is in there (like my cell, some tissue and a few other things). It’s at the bottom of the pile. I grab it and pull it on up. Doing so, I cause some of the other junk in my pants to fall onto the floor in front of everybody in line. Packets of lube and condoms. OMG, I wanted to die right then and there. And what did I need them before in the first place?!?! I never have sex… but hey… they were free so why not take some I thought that night.

Ugh… Still, I’m glad that it happened.


Stacey said...

I can't believe that no one at home will go to the gay bar with you! I will! Kraig also says "it's not like I've never gone before." so he's in too. :) however, we're not really into the dancing... so we might have to turn it up a notch or something

Sooo-this-is-me said...

Well you got to look like a perv in front of a McD's crowd, so I'm proud of you! XD

David said...

@Stacey: Yes, but somehow I think your husband doesn't quite suffer a blow to his ego like I would going one of those places.

@Steven: If I hadn't given up my passport, and if my car could make it, and if I knew where you lived for certain, I would totally come over and kick your butt.