I belong to neither.

I think I'm going to have to renounce my membership in the Filipino Club. (Italics apply to me.)

- You answer to "Pssst!!"
- You point with your lips.
- You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables like Ling-Ling, Bong-Bong, or Che-Che.
- You have uncles and aunts named Boy, Girlie or Baby.
- In your dining room there's a picture of "Last Supper" - and on either side of it are a giant wooden spoon and fork.
- The furniture in your house is wrapped in plastic or covered in blankets.
- You use shopping bags as garbage bags.
- You have a piano no one plays.
- You keep a tabo in your bathroom.
- You own a barrel man from Baguio.
- You can't resist buying items on sale even if you don't need them.
- You eat with your hands.
- and you cut your meat with a spoon and fork.
- You know a meal isn't a meal unless there's rice.
- There's Spam, Vienna sausage and corned beef in your pantry.
- You eat or have eaten fried spam and eggs with rice for breakfast.
- Whenever friends come over, they ask for "meat rolls" and you know they mean lumpia.
- You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.
- You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave the room.
- Your relatives sing karaoke when they come over.
- A party isn't a party unless there's line dancing (who doesn't love the Todo Todo, Chilly Cha Cha and September???)
- You don't get grossed out by balut.
- Your mom puts sugar and hot dogs in her spaghetti.
- Your Lola taught you to gargle with warm salt and ginger water when you have a sore throat.
- You always take your shoes off when you enter a house.
- You know what the "chocolate sauce" in dinuguan is actually made of
- The tissues in your bathroom came from Holiday Inn.
- You "open" and "close" the lights.
- Your friends know what it means to be on Filipino Time.
- You think Christmas season begins in October and ends in January.
- Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
- You've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity.
- You've ridden in a tricycle that doesn't require peddling
- You hold your palms together in front of you and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.
- Goldilocks is more than a fairy tale character to you.
- You say "prijider" instead of refrigerator
- Your Dad is/was in the Navy or your mom is a nurse or in many cases both.
- You leave a party with more food than you came with.
- You pronounce "v"s as "
- You're seen with a boy who's not Filipino and he's automatically your boyfriend and everyone knows about it
- You have Chinese furniture and walls screens in your house
- Your mom or dad came from a family with at least 10 children
-your parents over exaggerate the time (ex:" hoy gising na ! its almost 12 o clock," when it is really 11:15am)
- you pronounce "f's" as "p's" and "p's" as "f's" eg. pliffing = flipping , pork = fork [or vise versa ]
- Finding relatives at the airport entails scouring the crowd for a bunch of people fussing with a balikbayan box.
- Anyone whose name you can't recall in conversation is referred to as "si ano".
-Somehow there is always room for one more on the motorcycle or tricycle!
- You take off your shoes in the house.
- Your mom tells you to wear your "chanelas" when you go outside.
- You ask your mom what your "ulam" is when shes cooking.
- Your mom likes oriental furniture.
- You can speak one or more: tagalog, illocano, kapangpangan or cebuano
-You can understand either: tagalog, illocana, kapangpangan or cebuano
-You always have sardines in your pantry.
-You've eaten the bird of the balut at least once was
-You know the "Otso-otso".
-If you're not the youngest in the family, you look like your mom.
-You like Kare-Kare.
-Church is a must on Sundays.
-The first thing you offer your guests is food.
-You like the "Black Eyed Peas" because one of the guys is Filipino.
- Taho is Deeeelish!
-You believe its bad to waste food.
-Your mom tells you that its bad luck to sleep with your hair wet.
-You own a "walis ting ting".
-You like ALL of the following: Sinigang, Nilaga, Tilapia, Dinuguan, Pansit, and Lumpia.
-Mango is a dessert.
-You get excited when you see a Filipino on an American channel.