I Can't Stand It

A few obnoxious teens came into the store today that reminded me to tell the world:

I hate popped collars. Seriously, I think that the guys who do that shit need to be shot. It’s more heinous than those wild 70’s shirts where the collars traveled halfway towards your nipples. If your boyfriend, brother, husband, friend, or God forbid--father, does this. Do me a favor and slap them upside the head and burn all their polos. They shouldn’t be trusted with them in their wardrobes.

I want this t-shirt:

Now remember Billy, only retards wear their collars up!

From the MSU Anti-Popped Collar Club:

Today we "salute" you, Mr. Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold back of the neck. Sure, your pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not the 17 other Farmington Hills guys wearing the same thing at the bar. Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world were its okay for a man to go tanning. You ask "why can't we wear make-up, and use shampoo with lavender essence?" So crack open an ice-cold Zima, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one...in your man purse.

If you are on facebook, look to see if you can join the local chapter of the anti-popped collar club or if you have to, start your own.

Other sites:

StopThatPop
Facebook

Comments

john said…
I use to pop my collar. I thank God that someone slapped me upside the head. Now when I see people do it, I want to tear the collar off their shirts.
Why? Why? Why would someone wear their shirts that way?
Wed Aug 02, 11:49:00 PM EDT
John Provis said…
I'm with you on the popped collars... but you can't go knocking the classic 70's big-collar-on-an-open-necked-shirt look - just take this as an example - it's a retro-style uniform worn by the New Zealand cricket team for a game last year, how could you not say that's completely stylish..?! (Then again, maybe my wardrobe is one of the reasons for my lack of success with the ladies, who can tell..?)
Thu Aug 03, 06:31:00 AM EDT
PJS said…
Actually, I find the upturned collar a useful social clue. It informs me instantly that its wearer is a total tool, something I otherwise might only have found out through unfortunate conversational interaction.

A time-saver!
Thu Aug 03, 05:48:00 PM EDT
David said…
John: Glad you've come to your senses! But I thought that popped collars were for teens and undergrads.

John P.: I saw your example (whoa on the hair), and that's not quite what I was talking about. Remember the leisure suit? I'm talking about the shirt that went with that.

PJS: I never really thought about it like that. But I want to help these poor misguided souls! :-P

Is it that prevelant in NYC? I figured you all would have picked up some other trend that won't be known here until next summer.
Thu Aug 03, 06:37:00 PM EDT
PJS said…
It's only prevalent among the tool population. It's often seen in certain tool-heavy neighborhoods, and at a few tool bars into which I've accidentally wandered.
Fri Aug 04, 08:21:00 AM EDT
Unknown said…
My ex used to pop the collar on his blazers.

Sigh.
Fri Aug 04, 09:10:00 AM EDT
Brian Farrey said…
You know, I tolerate your wayward political views. I think you're being mighty judgmental about my collar. Maybe my collar just goes up on its own? Did you ever think about that, Mr. Hoity Toity Godlike Smarty Pants? Maybe I have no control over it.

Way to go, knob, you made me cry.
Fri Aug 04, 06:29:00 PM EDT
David said…
Herb, I've never heard of that being done. Although, I think I would be snickering just the same.

Brian: Wayward political views? Conservative dress rocks! Well maybe not in progressive Minneapolis. Someone once told me that they have made unpopable collars. Dang, I wish I could remember so I could send you a link.
Fri Aug 04, 06:51:00 PM EDT
Bob said…
Ok, I've been known to pop my collar once in a blue moon - but only for legitimate reasons. I was outside longer than intended, and I am prone to sunburns on my neck. And the collar was my only defense against said burn.

Do you hate me now?
Mon Aug 07, 08:07:00 AM EDT
David said…
^Uh huh. Sure...
I'd take the sunburn but I won't hate ya. Laugh at maybe but not hate. :-P
Mon Aug 07, 10:40:00 AM EDT
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