I don’t like to bring it up.

I dread the anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. In my head I know that I shouldn’t be as affected by this event but in reality I am. It has disturbed me… in ways I can’t even articulate. So when of my friends was talking about how she was crying over the 9-11 videos that she was watching today, I got mad. That morning was one of the most vivid of my life and I have little desire to relive any of it. I don’t understand why she or anyone else wants to reopen old wounds because that’s what it feels like to me. It still makes my stomach cramp up a bit to see those planes flying into the towers even more so when they show people jumping out of windows to their deaths. I haven’t talked about the anniversary in a few years and I certainly haven’t talked about it in depth. Honestly, I don’t know how long it will be until I feel like I can.