Sunday, August 31, 2008

Oh God, It's Family

My mom went on a cleaning binge yesterday--way more than what is normal. It was like she wanted the house to be perfect. And then she started preparing some Filipino food like lumpia and pancit. I thought that she was going to host a party for her friends. Nope. The first guests arrived a few minutes ago and turned out to be my Aunt and her kids. No Filipinos. Apparently, the family was coming. The family.

It's too late to run away!

I'm currently hiding away in my room because I know the questions are going to start flying in my direction on where I'm working, where I'm living, and the question they all want to know... do I have a girlfriend.


Update 2215

Well the guests are gone and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

I managed to keep away from the conversation that the adults were having by taking care of my little cousins. Thankfully, I escaped most of the prying questions and yet at the end of the day, I still having a burning hole in my heart.


Kapitano said...

Option 1: Pointedly ignore their hints about "Are there any nice young women where you work?" and "When I was your age I was married you know".

Option 2: Invent a fictional girlfriend who can't be there because of a family emergency.

Option 3: Impose on a female friend to phone up while your family are there, and talk briefly to your mother.

She should casually drop a line into the conversation something like "Oh, could you please tell David I'll be half an hour late for our date on Thursday - I know how he worries. Anyway...."

Option 4: Get a little bit drunk and declare to the assembled family, "You've all got this stupid obsession about me getting married. Well I'm not going to get married because I'm gay. Now fuck off and don't bother me again."

You'll have to say it twice more to get through the wall of shocked incredulity from the first time.

Option 5: Develop gastric flu two days before they arrive. Croak down the phone that you're sorry they'll have to postpone too.

David said...

I like Option 4 but you've got to remember... Americans can actually own firearms.

Laurie said...

Be careful which option you choose, I tried option 2 a couple of times and when I used option 3 I wound up married.

Sooo-this-is-me said...

David you are such a nice boy, why don't you find a nice girl to take care of you, and you are so good with your little cousins it is time to have some kids of your own, don't you want someone to cook and clean for you, look at men that don't marry they don't live long and turn out bitter, now I know this girl, a friend of a friend of a friend's daughter, you will like her she is really... um.. um.. really.. she has a very nice "personality"! ;P

David said...

^Get bent.