Briana Doyle

When I started out this blog, I had considered that some of what I would write would someday come back and bite me in the ass. And I guess that’s what has just happened.

I’m sure that most people have done it before. I’m talking about ego surfing. You’ve done it right? Right? Okay for the few out there, ego surfing is where you type in your name into a search engine and look for web pages that just might happen to mention you. For example, a google search of my name will put me on the second page under a webpage for SIAS (Summer Institute for the Arts and Sciences). Well apparently, Briana Doyle did a little ego surfing and wasn’t too pleased with the result. She found my blog. Uh oh. More specifically she found this post.

Now all comments on my blog are directed to a yahoo account that I keep for most outer-circle communication. What I mean by that is that there is one account that I use just for friends, family and such, then there is the outer-circle group which is basically anyone who wants to talk to me, and then there is the junk mail account. Because I get so few comments, I just scan through it once a week. It was then that I found out that Briana had ambled in. Here is her message:

Dear David,
I would just like to thank you for the kind comment. Who are you to judge me? You have no clue what interest me. David why don’t you tell me when you spoke to me last? Yea, that is what I thought. So what are you doing with your life? It sounds as if you are having a little trouble finding a job. I'm so sorry to hear that. Good things happen to good people and your clearly not one of those people. I hope someday you gain a little self-esteem and focus more on your self rather than defacing others.

I must say here, that normally I don’t share private conversations (including email) out on the open net but since she has released the original to the public, I suppose that it is okay to do it here and now.

So here’s my response:

Briana, I’m sorry that you were upset at what you found. And I’m sorry that if you ego surf and find this entry… you will probably still be upset. You ask, who am I to judge you? You should ask that very same question to the rest of us and of yourself. I judge people all the time, but I am also always making revisions. I won’t pretend that you are so enlightened that you haven’t judged me. In fact, I know you have. As for not speaking to you in since God knows how long. I would hardly pin that on me. The whole lets-keep-in touch deal kind of fell through for our class didn’t it? So you take a certain road and bash me where I’m sensitive- the fact that I’m having difficulty finding a job. And I admit, you got me there. You made me wince. So chalk up your point. You deserve it. But I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

I am sorry to the extent that you were hurt by what I had written. But I’m not writing this blog to boost anyone’s ego. Keep in mind that I don’t write this blog to bust anyone’s either. They are just posts of what I am thinking or sometimes feeling at the moment. Everything in that post was the truth. It was what I thought. It was what I felt. I was honestly surprised that you ran for public office. “What the hell,” was exactly what went through my mind when I saw your name on the winner’s sheet and so it was what I wrote. I was surprised that you had actually won (and by the margin you won by.) I was even surprised… when I found out that you moved away before you could take office. As for the reasons why-- as for the context, I don’t care. It’s none of my business to ask why you do the things you do. But, it’s not going to stop me from writing about my reactions.

There are two parts of my post that I can probably point to where you thought I was being harsh. And I was after a fashion, don’t get me wrong.

First: “Briana? Politics? Believe me, those two words do not belong in the same sentence.” Not once in my high school career did I ever hear you have an in-depth political discussion beyond the school-board which I ignored due to your personal connections and therefore biases to what was taking place or your election to the student council which can easily turn into a popularity contest.

Second: “It's Galien, the world won't come to an end if she does something wrong.” As a politician (which you became even before you entered the race) you are judged not only by the decisions you’ve made but by the decisions you may make. Take for instance, President Bush. My post is glowing in comparison to the things that are written, said, and even done onto him. And that was my own little in-joke for all the people who voted for Senator Kerry because they believed that Bush policies would kill everyone on the planet. At best, the decisions you could have made would have been annoyances and I was glad the household of which I am part of wasn’t part of it.

So if you want to think that I am such a bad person and are obviously so delighted that I am having some difficulty with the job market, that’s fine. But know this, I never wrote that post out of malice. Perhaps I’ll see you at the upcoming reunion and I would certainly like to hear what you have been doing down south. As for what’s happening with me, it’s here. Well, most of it anyways. If you want to write me an email and discuss this further, it's in my profile.

One of the things that I started doing since, oh about December, was to stop using last names wherever possible. It’s not because things like this might come up, where the person I’m writing about will find it, it’s because I don’t exactly want the world wide audience (currently I have maybe four or five regular readers outside my friends and family) to know details too easily. Although, they can probably piece enough information to successfully stalk me.